WITS: Like Mother, Like Daughter...of Eve.

Some of what women do in the day-to-day can seem very mundane. It helped me as a young mother — and still does today — to realize that even the most boring and mindless tasks, and in fact the mere dailiness of what we do, also reminds us repeatedly of The Plan and the love that underscores every part of it:

Here are some parts of The Plan as seen in the Garden of Eden— and carried out daily in women's work.

Creation: God created the earth to prepare a beautiful, comfortable home for us, his children. This creation was a key part of the plan and is mentioned in every book of scripture. We women perform small acts of creation day after day, empowered with love for our families. We create a home that is beautiful and comfortable, a place of nurturing and love. A house of learning. A sanctuary of faith. 

I have a unique background in creation. My dad has a PhD in creativity. In our home growing up, creativity was one of the hallmarks. As an artist and designer, my career allows me to create every day. Creating is a big part of what I do and who I am. But it doesn’t need to be a career, or even a talent, to hav a place in your life. Every one of us has the opportunity to create and add beauty wherever we are. 

Planting a garden: God planted a garden in Eden. Many women love working the soil, both to beautify their homes and to feed their families. It is so satisfying and exciting to watch little seedlings burst into life, stretch and grow toward the light. There is also always a life lesson as we spend time watering, nurturing those growing plants, and pulling the weeds that could rob the growing plants of water and light. 

Talking to God. Adam and Eve walked and talked with God in the garden. Mothers are their children’s first introduction to both verbal and spiritual conversation. As we look and smile at babies, teaching them to imitate our voices and sounds, they mirror our words and emotions and gradually begin to pick up the gift of language and expression. 

Mothers are typically great listeners and conversationalists. From expressing delight over a toddler’s discoveries, to answering endless questions, “WHY?” to waiting up until the wee hours of the morning to hear how a date went, mothers are both available and willing models of meaningful connection. 

Similarly, women model spiritual communication. From those earliest moments of helping a toddler fold his chubby arms to pray, both at the dinner table and at their bedside, our children learn they can walk and talk with God. We are all still learning to walk and talk with God. I remember stepping into my mother's bedroom as a young girl and seeing her on her knees in prayer. The entire room felt like a sacred space. I just quietly tiptoed out. But I felt then that my mom was actually talking to God. 

Setting boundaries: God told our first parents they could eat from all the trees in the garden…except one. Mothers daily set and enforce boundaries, protecting our children and grandchildren and helping them feel safe and secure.

Clothing loved ones: Before they left the garden, the Lord made coverings of skins for Adam and Eve. 

“And the Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21, Talmud). 

Whether we sew or not, it is our responsibility to clothe our families. We spend countless hours purchasing, mending, washing, pressing and folding clothes for our families. It helps me to think that this was also something Jehovah was willing to do. 
In addition, according to some talmudic scholars, their garments were actually made of celestial light. The fall dimmed that light. Whenever we teach our children about the plan of salvation and the gospel of Jesus Christ, we are , not unlike the armor of God, clothing them in greater light.

Delivering consequences: God gave us (his children) a colossal time-out. Because of the fall, we were cast out of the garden and cast out of his presence. From that point on we had to learn to walk by faith. All of us. 

Time-outs are also a near-daily occurrence for a mother, as she teaches her children appropriate behavior. And yet, if we compare this work too to our Father’s plan, isn’t it often more of a burden on the mother than on the errant child to enforce that grounding or take away their car privilege? Yet we endure these consequences to establish a pattern of learning. 

How hard must it be for Heavenly Father to be removed from us? How often does he want to reach through the veil and take us in his arms, hold us close? But he has to refrain, knowing this is the only way we can truly learn.

To God, all things are spiritual. There is no task he asks us to undertake, no choice or decision that doesn't have spiritual significance. This helped me so much when my children were young, and the tasks seemed endless. I continue to be inspired by these ideas. 

QUESTION: What else do you do that is similar to Eve and her experience in Eden?

WITS: Of course it comes down to food!

In Genesis we see Eve's thought process as she approaches the forbidden fruit, and the steps reveal quite a lot about her character, and about the nature of the female psyche.

It was a few years into marriage and motherhood before I realized, "My entire life revolves around food!" Not just three times a day seeking out personal nourishment, but many of us are responsible for feeding a husband and possibly a houseful of kids too. Then there are the snacks. Heaven knows every kid needs them. Grown-ups too. We start planning our days around having just the right stash for whatever need may arise. But it doesn't stop there. Oh, no. Not only are we consuming and preparing food, we shop for it too! We make meal plans, we budget, and then we make impulse purchases, because, well, here we are at the store, and we're starving, and look what's on display, look what they're sampling at Costco, look what's on sale! It is a constant focus, ever present in the back of our minds even when we're not conscious of it.

So what was Eve's first response to the serpent's wily questions: "It was good for food." This makes perfect sense to me. Will it feed my family? Will it help me get dinner on the table faster? Done.

Her next rationale is pretty good too. Actually, it's amazingly forward-thinking and insightful. She wanted to be like the gods. She wanted the gift of discernment between right and wrong, good and evil. She wanted her eyes opened to spiritual matters and knowledge and wisdom and understanding.

Even if our first impulse is to open our mouths, "It looks good for food," let our next impulse always be, "I want to be like God. Open my eyes and my heart to greater knowledge and wisdom."

WITS: Eve and Marital Intimacy

One October night as we were riding home in the car with our daughter, she asked what my husband and I were going to be for Halloween. (We have a big family party where handsome prizes are doled out for the best couples' costumes.) Both devoid of ideas, Jeff facetiously suggested we go as Adam and Eve. I responded, "But what if I don't like my Eve costume any more?" (lamenting the current state of my body). He responded, "Well I still like your Eve costume!" Our daughter thought this conversation was hilarious! But it was reassuring to me that he still likes my "Eve costume" (i.e. naked body) after thirty years of marriage!

In Genesis 2:24-25 the Lord teaches Eve (and Adam) about physical intimacy in marriage.

24 Therefore shall a ^aman leave his ^bfather and his mother, and shall ^ccleave unto his ^dwife: and they shall be ^eone flesh.

25 And they were both ^anaked, the man and his wife, and were not ^bashamed.

In a previous post I wrote about verse 25 in terms of body image, and not being ashamed of the beautiful gift we've been given to house our spirits. Today I want to look that same verse in terms of marriage.  I have always been a little shy about my body, and reticent to get physically involved with any of my dates. It completely surprised me on my wedding night how ready I was to give myself completely to Jeff. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to be naked, and not ashamed. With the right person, at the right time, is how God intended marital intimacy, and under those conditions I received the gift Adam and Eve had in the garden of Eden...to be together, completely trusting and vulnerable, with no shame attached.

I love that marital intimacy is a commandment. A commandment separate from the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. It is certainly not just for the purpose of procreation. When my gynecologist explained that to me before we were married—that it's a commandment, that God wants us to be "one flesh"—it suddenly made so much sense. Many times I have thanked the Lord for the permission and gift of sexual intimacy within the bonds of marriage. To become "one flesh" is one of the most loving, healing, and bonding acts and such a beautiful expression of love.

A friend once told me that Satan does everything in his power to get you to have sex before marriage, and then he does everything in his power to keep you from making love to each other after marriage...exactly opposite what the Lord desires for us. It is so important not to let minor squabbles or too-full calendars get in the way of the precious togetherness that is one of the sweetest privilege of the marriage relationship.

Question: How comfortable am I in sharing my body with my husband? Am I truly giving myself to him, and finding joy in that sacred relationship? Am I careful to avoid anything that would interfere with this gift of intimacy?

WITS: Eve and the Marriage Partnership

One day when we were dating, Jeff was talking to me about his future goals (moving to Los Angeles, going to film school at USC, and having a career as a writer/producer/director in the film industry). I can still remember exactly where I was, what I was doing, where I was standing. As I listened to these grand plans, there was a precise moment when the spirit whispered to me, "...and you're going to be the one to help him." I didn't say a word to him at the time, but I knew then and there that we would eventually get married.

That's the first image that came to mind when I read the term "help meet" in Genesis 2:18—that I had a divine assignment to help my husband achieve his goals, to be his partner.

"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." 

At first glance, "help meet" sounds a little like a servant or underling, but it actually means a "helper suited to, worthy of or corresponding to him." Another definition I read is "a power equal to save." It is definitely an equal partnership; not an inferior role.

In Moses 5:1 it says, "Eve did labor with him." Again, a partnership. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World we're told that "in these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help each other as equal partners." For our entire marriage, I have worked alongside Jeff to contribute to the family finances, and he has worked alongside me in the raising of our children.

Eve, as the world's first official wife, can teach us much about that sacred assignment. The equality mentioned above creates a solid footing for healthy intimacy in marriage as well. 

Question: How can I be sure I am helping my husband in the ways he needs most? Am I a worthy partner for this great man?

WITS: What does Eve teach us about body image?

Genesis 1: 26-27
Let us make man in our own image, after our [plural] likeness...
In the image of God created he him, male and female created he them. 

Women, too are created in God's image. And as the plural connotes, very likely in the image of a female goddess, a Heavenly Mother who is a partner to God the Father.

The word Man often refers to Mankind, Adam is a surname of sorts, referring to both individuals Adam and Eve at times, (the Lord called their name Adam) and the name Elohim means plural Gods, or Brother and Sister God, if you will, a husband and wife.

Genesis 1: 31

And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very ^agood. And the evening and the morning were the ^bsixth day.

God evaluated his work at the end of each creative period. And each time it was pronounced good. Only after creating the woman was God's work pronounced "very good."

Clearly our bodies are divine gifts, in the image of divine, exalted beings. They are an essential step in reaching a greater likeness to those in whose image we were created. And they are in his words "very good."

Question: So why do we as women have a natural inclination to be critical of, ashamed of, and even loathe our bodies?

One answer is in Genesis! God teaches us to love, use, clothe and care for our bodies, beginning with Eve in the Garden of Eden. Yet there remains some very real pain and shame associated with exposing our beautiful female bodies. In Genesis 2:25 it says, "They were both naked, and were not ashamed." So what happened?

In 2014 I was chosen to read an essay I wrote on Body Image to a large audience, at an event called Listen to Your Mother. It's called Bodies in My Basement . It documents some of my own body image issues, and the way I used to hide my body in shame at the pool rather than participate in the laughter and fun in the water with my children. Here are portions of the concluding paragraphs:

I yearn to develop an Artist's Eye—the Creator’s view—toward my own body. I remember that form follows function. I’m slowly learning to rejoice in my ripples and curves rather than lamenting the loss of the hardbody of my twenties. It’s easier to love the pillow of padding on my belly when I remember how I earned it: creating life, giving birth—four miraculous times. Through conceiving, bearing, feeding and nurturing children—through motherhood—I have finally used every part of my body exactly as it was designed, every function for its intended purpose. I may not look perfect, but I am complete.

I make a conscious decision to own my complete form and join my children in the pool. ...I enter the water slowly, tentatively at first. I take a step, and then another. ..I throw on an imaginary cloak of invisibility, shutting out judgement and shame.

The water catches ripples of light, sparkling in the sun. The initial shock of cold gives way to a refreshing escape from the heat of the day. I am immersed. Lifting my head, catching my breath, feeling clean and alive, I see my children’s faces, beaming. They don’t notice the varicose veins or the dimples of cellulite. They see their mother, present and joyful.... They may not be aware of the pride I sacrificed to join them in the pool, but I can tell they sense the love behind the gesture. Their smiles and enthusiasm tell me their happiness multiplied when I finally summoned the courage to dive in, all in. With them.

Well, in Genesis 3, vs 7-8 Eve has an encounter with Satan.  Satan wants us to feel ashamed of our bodies and hide them because he doesn't have a body of his own; he lost that privilege! He wants to taint our experience with embarrassment and shame. Only after Eve (and Adam) encounter Satan and partake of the fruit are they "ashamed" and "hide themselves." Satan is the original source of our body image issues. The closer we connect to God and learn from Him, like Eve did, how to value, care for, use, love, and cover our bodies, the healthier our body image will become.

Questions: In what ways do I fall prey to Satan's trap and begin to devalue or feel ashamed of my body? Can I distance myself from media, people, and other sources that offer me a skewed, unhealthy perspective on body image and issues? 

How can I better celebrate my body as the divine gift that it truly is? What do I love about my body? Do I express daily gratitude for my body? Do I clothe my body in ways that show honor and respect for both its form and its functions?

Keep your WITS* about you! (*Women in the Scriptures)

This past week I began a new focus to my scripture study. Following an idea from my friend and Living Room podcast co-host, Paige Sorensen, I began studying with a focus on Women in the Scriptures. I am going very slowly, focusing on depth rather than breadth, and asking myself poignant, open-ended questions about how each woman's faith and experience could apply to my own life.

As Maria Von Trapp recommends, let's start from the very beginning, a very good place to start. Join me for a daily in-depth look at Women in the Scriptures and how their stories can impact our stories, beginning with Eve and the choice made in Eden.


*All Women in the Scriptures posts will have the acronym WITS in their title.

BOMT: An Inside Look at Temptation

Temptation is scary business. It's that alluring thread that pulls us someplace we know we shouldn't 

be heading, then knots us from in front and behind until we're stuck there. I don't like feeling stuck. 

Ever. But somehow when we see those captivating cords -- no matter how many times we've ventured down that rabbit hole -- we seem not to draw the inevitable conclusion at the end of the thread...the 

knot. Where our progress stops cold.








Photo by Sebastian Bischof from Pexels

My personal scripture study today reminded me of an experience about ten years ago when we picked up our son from the wilderness. 

We drove three hours to the Middle of Nowhere (otherwise known as Loa, Utah) to retrieve our son from a behavior modification program. We underwent a half-day of therapy before we were reunited with our boy. And then participated in a day and a half of communication exercises and family therapy once we were reunited. Most of the kids there were trying to beat an addiction of some sort. One of the concepts that stuck with me was the acronym H A L T T. 

Hungry 

Angry 

Lonely 

Thirsty 

Tired

They taught us that we are at our very weakest when we're in one of these states, the least able to resist temptation. And the best response is to stop. or HALT. (with a double T).  Don't latch onto that flaxen cord when our defenses are down!

Today in my reading I noticed that when Christ was tempted, the scriptures also describe these weak 

states, when the body wants to rule the mind. 

King Benjamin prophesied of those suffering and temptations over 100 years before Christ was born: 

Mosiah 3:7 And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; ...



It would appear that managing our energy is a key to managing temptation.


Examine your physical state and then HALTT




A few chapters later we're given still more insight into how he managed temptation. 




Mosiah 15:5 And thus the flesh becoming subject to the Spirit ... asuffereth temptation, and yieldeth not to the temptation,




Strengthening our spirit to the point that it's in charge of our body—rather than the other way around—is one tactic the Savior used in order to stand his ground and "yield not" to temptation. we know how to strengthen our bodies (eat right, exercise), but how do we strengthen our spirits? (eat right --feasting on the word of God--and exercise faith through obedience, service and prayer.) The stronger our personal connection to our Father in Heaven the stronger our spirit will become.




Matthew 4:1-11


1 Then was Jesus led ...[alone]...into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.
2 And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, hewas afterward an hungred.
3 And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. (presents doubt of divine parentage, appeals to his bodily hunger)
4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. (Jesus quotes scripture to strengthen himself and ward off temptation. 

5 Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him [alone] on a pinnacle  of the temple,

6 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. (presents doubt of divine parentage, wants him to commit suicide, basically)
7 Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. (Jesus quotes scripture to strengthen himself and ward off temptation.) 
8 Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, [remote place] and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;
9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. (Promises worldly power and glory in exchange for false worship.)
10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. (Jesus quotes scripture to strengthen himself and ward off temptation.)

11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.

The clear takeaway from these passages is how important it is to manage our energy, be aware of how our bodily state can affect our spiritual state, and become adept at not just knowing but using and 

living what we learn from the scriptures.

Question: What is tempting to you? How to you keep temptation at bay? What reminds you to HALT?

The Master Teacher

My dad is a master teacher. It is a pure gift combined with the power of a PhD. He is so good at engaging with his students, presenting the material in an exciting way, and motivating improvement. Growing up, even Family Home Evening became a major teaching event, with lessons I can still remember well.

I learned so much about teaching just by watching my dad over the years. While I remain in awe of him, I like to think I inherited a small portion of that gift. I am a teacher both at work (UVU) and at church (Relief Society). There is almost no place I'd rather be than in the classroom.

Yesterday I was studying about the teaching modes of Jesus in the New Testament and the Book of Mormon. Here is the Master of all master teachers. As I tried to digest each verse and comprehend what skill or tactic or power he was utilizing, I started composing a list of his teaching methods.  The prospect of improving my own teaching by relying on His expertise became very exciting to me.

As we wrap up the semester and move into finals, I can't help thinking how I might use some or all of these techniques in my own teaching, both at church and at work.

This is what I discovered: (I have a feeling I'll refer back to this list often.)

In His Arsenal:

Authority (Matt. 7:29, John 7:16,  John 12:50)
Storytelling, Parables (Matt. 13:10, Mark 4:2)
Earnestly Urge, Advise (Mark 1:14)
Entered the place of learning (in church on Sunday) Mark 1:21
Drew a Crowd (Mark 2:2)
Used the word of God (Mark 2:2, John 3:34)
Hidden mysteries (through parables)
Hard doctrine, difficult concepts (Mark 8:31)
Power (Luke 4:32)
Perception (understood their hearts) (Luke 5:22)
Sensitivity (Luke 24:17)
Contextualization, Perspective (Luke 24:27)
Scriptures (Luke 24:27)
The spirit (Luke 24:32)
Motivated by Love (John 21:17)
Truth (3 Nephi 11:32)
Wisdom (Matt: 13:54)
Example (Matt: 13:54)

Student Engagement:

Required Reading (Matt. 12:3 (12:1-8) )
Thought-provoking Questions (Matt: 12:3, Luke 7:42)
Sharing, bearing testimony (Mark 8:29)
Taught outdoors, various locations (Mark 4:1)
Problem-solving (Luke 5:22)
Let students form conclusions (Luke 7:42)
Asked for an accounting (3 Nephi 23:11-13)
Commandment to write about experiences (3 Nephi 23:11-13)
Told to pray for understanding (3 Nephi 17:3)
Told to ponder his teachings (3 Nephi 17:3)
Instructed to prepare for next session (3 Nephi 17:3)
Invited to come, approach him (3 Nephi 11:14)
Invited to gain their own, personal witness (3 Nephi 11:14)
Allowed for silence and self-reflection (John 8:7)
Invited to attempt, to gain own knowledge (John 7:17)
Affirmed student responses (Luke 7:43)
Pointed out student errors (Matt. 22:29)
Asked "Why not?" (Luke 24:26)
Took extra time with them (Luke 24:29-30)
Wrote on ground (or on board) (John 8:6)

May all of our teaching, in whatever form, become a little more inspiring, engaging, and powerful as we follow the example of the Master Teacher.

BOMT: Don't Leave Me Out of the Plan! I'm Opting In!

Alma 34

This is another chapter I encountered on my daily quest through the Topical Guide, my core curriculum on Christ. I read the prescribed verse in the topical guide (Alma 34:8 "He shall atone for the sins of the world"), scanned the surrounding verses for context, and was completely enthralled as though I were reading it all again through fresh eyes (even though I've probably read it a hundred times before.)  I found three instances of Chiasmus (Hebrew poetry form that repeats itself in reverse like an X, with the most crucial part of the message at its core); and I also discovered THE KEY to opting into (or out of) the great plan of happiness.  

Here we go:

Another stunning discovery in my quest for spiritual growth is how essential it is to turn a corner and repent of wrongdoings. Honestly, sometimes I forget about repentance. If I haven't done something seriously wrong, it kind of falls off my radar screen. But two scriptures in Alma 34 completely changed my perspective on this:

In verse 16 it says:

"...Mercy can satisfy the demands of justice, and encircles them in the arms of safety, while he that exercises no faith unto repentance is exposed to the whole law of the demands of justice; therefore only unto him that has faith unto repentance is brought about the great and eternal plan of redemption.

Without faith unto repentance (the kind of faith that brings you to your knees and  brings about a change of heart) Mercy no longer has us in its grasp. The next line is even stronger and more clear: "only unto him that has faith unto repentance is brought about the great and eternal plan of redemption."

In other words, No repentance = No plan.

That's right, the amazing plan that our Father in Heaven presented to us before we ever came to earth, the plan to bring us back home to him someday, glorified and exalted, the plan which prophets have called "The Great and Eternal Plan of Redemption," "The Great Plan of Happiness," "The Great Plan of Mercy," "The Plan of Restoration," "The Great Plan of Salvation,"...that's right—a plan so big and important and powerful and loving no single title even does it justice—that plan has no effect in our lives if we're not exercising faith and repenting. 

Why did I never notice that before? It's the key to everything. Believe. Repent. Or you're not even part of the plan.

Thank heaven in verse 31 there's some hope for those of us who are a little slow to catch on.

"...if ye will repent and harden not your hearts, immediately shall the great plan of redemption be brought about unto you."

That is so cool! Just when we thought it was too late and we are completely locked out of the plan...all we have to do is repent, and immediately the whole plan takes effect in our lives. We're back in! 

It's so simple. But so hard.

So of course as soon as I learn this concept, I'm given extra opportunities to repent. That's always the way it works, isn't it?

I offended a good friend. (And who knows how many others who didn't speak up?) I had a student confess a wrongdoing that made me feel guilty just by osmosis. I snapped at my husband. I got impatient with other drivers. I dropped balls. 

Here's what I learned. Repenting is hard. But it's easier than it is in our minds when we feel it looming on the horizon. And it's easier than procrastinating that hard conversation, that apology, that confession, the resolve to improve. It's definitely easier than carrying the weight and the burden of the errors and mistakes. And for sure it's better and easier than being ejected from the great plan of happiness. That would be horrible! 

So I'm opting in. I want to be part of the great eternal plan of mercy, redemption and love. I choose to exercise my faith. I choose to repent. I choose happiness.

QUESTION: How do you make repentance a part of your daily life?

BOMT Am I A Prayer Slacker? or Will I Rip Open My Heart?

I have prayed every day of my life for as long as I can remember. I've kept a prayer journal (off and on) to record my answers, which have never failed to come, and have at times established a deep connection with God (other times more habitual, with sort of a bungee cord connection.) I have never thought of myself as a prayer slacker. And yet this list from Alma gives me pause.

Right now I have a two-year goal for exponential spiritual growth (to match, in part, the growth our son is experiencing on his mission.) I love the spiritual depth and power I experienced years ago as a missionary, and am longing to once again stretch myself spiritually. One step toward that goal is to deepen my prayers.

What wonderful timing to discover this extensive list of how, where and what to pray for in Alma 34. Since I have no flocks or fields, I decided to reinterpret the list through a more contemporary lens. Here's my take on Alma's list:

• Pray to be treated with kindness and generosity, ask to be forgiven. (And, as a corollary, pray to treat others the way you would want to be treated.)
• Humble yourself, (See yourself in relation to God, rather than comparing yourself to other people. Express gratitude. Acknowledge His role in your life.)
• Continue to pray (When you think you're finished praying, pause, search your soul, and then keep going. Go deeper. Establish daily rhythms of prayer that you follow on a continual basis. Never take a break from this essential habit of connecting with God.)
• Pray about work, pray at work and during work (for me as an artist and art teacher, this means to pray about the subjects I'm going to paint and for my work on those paintings, pray in my studio and pray in the very act of painting, pray before I teach and for those I teach.)
• Pray at home, for your family, morning, mid-day and evening (and not just a recited blessing over the food at these times, but a heartfelt, meaningful prayer offered up in united faith, asking a blessing for each member of the family specific their needs.)
• Pray for protection (This could refer to safety of course, but also to protection from wrongdoers who could take advantage of us in business, or protection from our own tendencies to underperform and live beneath our calling and privilege as children of God.)
• Pray to resist temptation (Sometimes we know what are weaknesses are and can be actively watching out for them. Other times they catch us completely off guard—"Did I just say that?" "I can't believe I did that." Either way we need the strength to resist doing things we'll later regret. And suddenly I'm seeing a connection to resisting foods I'll later regret eating. That's a temptation too.)
• Pray that our work will prosper (It's okay to ask not just that we'll do our best, but that it will achieve the desired results and recognition. It's okay to ask for abundance in our lives.)
• Pray for increase (a raise? a bigger family? some improvement in our own ability or performance? It's okay to ask for what we have to increase.)
• Pour out your soul in private, and in nature (I actually do this often. Walking (or sitting quietly and reflecting) in nature is one of my favorite ways to commune with God.)
• Pray with a full heart, drawn out in continual prayer (Don't ever allow yourself to disconnect from the Source of all your love, light and blessings.)

When I think of praying with a full heart, I'm reminded of a favorite hymn in Spanish: Secreta Oración. In English I don't even like this hymn..."There is an Hour of Peace and Rest." The chorus "May my heart be turned to pray, Pray in secret day by day" is a bit repetitive and bland. But in Spanish the chorus Rendiré mi corazon en secreta oración translates as "I will rip open my heart in private prayer." And in the wonderful Spanish wards and branches where I served as a missionary, the people sing this with ánimo, with passion and energy and with their whole hearts. Such an inspiration. They sing as though they are counting on the gift of prayer to grant them a deep connection with the heavens, as the rest of the chorus promises. I think that's how we should approach prayer.

And then there's one more piece of advice on prayer Alma gives us, and it's a bit surprising.

• Be excessively, unfailingly kind...or else. If we do all this praying, no matter how earnest, but then fail to take care of the poor and the sick and the troubled, then our prayers don't even count, have no effect. Without charity in our hearts, nothing else matters.

Okay, it's official. I'm a slacker. But I'm working on it and improving.

QUESTION: How do you make prayer a more vibrant part of your life?

BOMT: Patterns of Praise

I was doing my morning scripture study going through the subheads on Christ in the Topical Guide. When I read these scriptures I typically scan the verses before and after for context. When I read 2 Nephi 9:7, in scanning for context I got completely sucked in and studied the whole chapter when I discovered a series of patterns where certain phrases were repeated over and over again. (This falls under ‘Single out Specifics’). The words Joy and Rejoice are words I typically single out and circle when I’m studying. The other patterns I had never really noticed before.

2 Nephi 9

Regarding the Infinite Atonement: 

The merciful plan of the great Creator includes the Power of Resurrection (resurrection accomplished via priesthood power; Christ holds the keys) It also refers to this Power of Resurrection in 2 Nephi 10:25 and Jacob 4:11. 

Jacob's praise to the Lord when he witnesses and understands the plan: (I speak unto you these things that ye may rejoice, and lift up your heads forever, because of the blessings) — I’m interested in this because culturally we often don’t  offer up a lot of praise.  

(For more on the topic of praise within families, check out this post about teenage anger on my other blog, Divergent Pathways.)

O the wisdom of God, his mercy and grace! (v8)

O how great the goodness of our God (who prepareth a way for our escape)! (v10)

O how great the plan of our God! (v13)

O the greatness and the justice of our God!  (v17)

O the greatness of the mercy of our God, the Holy One of Israel! (v19)

O how great the holiness of our God! (v20)

He also has great disdain for Satan and his followers. He sees how treacherous our mortal experience is: 

O the cunning plan of the evil one! (v28)

O the vainness and the frailties and the foolishness of men!  

He gives these warnings: 

Wo unto the rich (for because they are rich they despise the poor) (v30)

Wo unto the deaf that will not hear (v31)

Wo unto the blind (v32)

Wo unto the uncircumcised of heart (uncircumcised refers to covenant making, so this would mean those who avoid or devalue their covenants with Christ) (v33)

Wo unto the liar (v34)

Wo unto the murderer (who kill deliberately) (v35)

Wo unto those that worship idols (v36)

Wo unto all those who die in their sins  (v37)

Then he continues pleading with his brethren (members of the church) to return and remember: 

O my beloved brethren, remember the awfulness of transgressing. Remember to be carnally-minded is death, and to be spiritually minded is life eternal.  (v39)

O my beloved brethren, give ear to my words. Remember the greatness of the Holy One of Israel. (v40)

O then my beloved brethren, come unto the Lord, the Holy One. Remember that his paths are righteous. (v41)

O my beloved brethren, remember my words. (v44)

O my beloved brethren, turn away from your sins; shake off the chains of him that would bind you fast; come unto that God who is the rock of your salvation. (v45)

Come, my brethren, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters...come buy wine and milk without money and without price. (v50)

Behold, my beloved brethren, remember the words of your God; pray unto him continually by day and give thanks unto his holy name by night. Let your hearts rejoice.  (v52)

He concludes with more rejoicing, praising the work of the Lord:

How great the covenants of the Lord, and how great his condescensions:…his greatness and his grace and mercy. (v53)

Here he whets their appetite for more, but is careful not to overwhelm them in a single session/chapter:

And now, my brethren, I would speak unto you more, but on the morrow I will declare unto you the remainder of my words.

I have to add that in reading some of these verses I was so moved by the spirit that I was completely overcome, I felt those feelings of joy and gratitude and awe and was choking back tears. Searching for patterns like this and really asking yourself what is happening, what is important here really opens you up to be taught by the spirit.

QUESTION: What has moved you recently from the scriptures?

40Q: #2 Mercy me!

I wrote this years ago, no idea exactly when, but forgot to press publish. So this isn't current, but absolutely still resonates.

Have you sufficiently retained in remembrance his mercy and long-suffering...?
It started as a simple search for mercy.  I remembered one of my favorite references, in Moroni—an oft-forgotten portion of Moroni's promise: "...Remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts." There, scribbled in the outside margin was a single reference: 2 Nephi 1.

I turned there and started reading. Suddenly memories of where we've been and how we've been delivered were flooding to me as I replaced the names and places with my own:

"And he spake concerning our rebellions, and the mercies of God in sparing our lives, that we were not swallowed up in that metropolis of greater Los Angeles. ...How merciful the Lord had been in warning us that we should flee out of the land of Los Angeles. For I have seen the news reports, in which I know that the real estate bubble has burst, and had we remained in Los Angeles we should also have perished."

I continued throughout the entire chapter, likening it to myself wherever I could see a parallel, and verse after verse jumped out as significant. But it wasn't until I got to the last page that it humbled me to my core:

"Rebel no more against your [husband], whose views have been glorious, and who hath kept the commandments from the time that we left [Los Angeles], and who hath been an instrument in the hands of God, in bringing us forth into the land of promise;"..."He hath suffered much sorrow because of you...for behold you have accused him that he sought power and authority over you...but he hath sought your own eternal welfare."

Right before I studied my scriptures I had prayed for some inspiration regarding our marriage, and this was my answer: You are married to a good man. Heed his counsel. Stop murmuring.  I started out studying about the Lord's mercy and ended up gaining some insight into my own husband's longsuffering.  You never know what's going to pierce you when you embark on a journey like this.

BOMT: I Never Said It Would Be Easy

Often God's solutions to our problems involve giving us more work. God seems to eschew the life of ease. Consider this classic line from chapter 17: "and because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness of it, there were many who perished."

Recently I've been blessed with so many opportunities and at the same time burdened with too much to juggle, too many balls to keep in the air. I am terrified of dropping one of those balls. But the juggling has become pretty intense. I've been praying for direction.

One of the largest of these balls, The Living Room podcast, has actually been snowballing...in terms of listeners and building a community, and also in terms of work for us and cost for us to produce. When this opportunity originally came up, I asked the Lord if this was just "one more thing" or if it was an essential—something He really wanted and needed me to do. (Because otherwise it's a really taxing and expensive hobby!) The answer was so clear: "If I went to the trouble to part this red sea for you, you should walk across it." Wow. Okay.

When things rolled out of control last month, and so many items on my growing to-do list collided, my positive attitude waned. I asked again: Is this still something I should be doing? Or is it taking me away from more important tasks? I pleaded: Can The Living Room at least begin to pay for itself...because this is not sustainable in the long term.

Right around this time another opportunity arose...a paid writing assignment for a large online publication. Such an unexpected offer, and quite an honor. I prayed and fasted about this one too. I'm already writing quite a bit for The Living Room. I needed to know if this, too, was just "one more thing." The answer completely surprised me. I felt my heart expand to embrace it, my mind was flooded with ideas. So I added one more ball to my juggling act.

Nephi (2600 years ago) had an impossible-looking assignment from God: Build a boat. When his brothers complain about the work, doubt its results, and refuse to help, Nephi's rebuke is a great one for us all: "Murmur not, neither withhold your labor." Don't complain, Dive in! He had no idea how he was to accomplish it. But he allowed God to direct him every step of the way, and refused to doubt in his ability, with God on his side. Nephi actually had to make his own tools. (If I had to make my own computer I would have given up a long time ago!)

Just this morning it occurred to me: This was an answer to one of my earlier prayers. God didn't wave a magic wand and suddenly give The Living Room a million listeners and a steady stream of advertisers. Instead, He gave me more work. But this work will give me the exact amount of money I need to pay every month to keep The Living Room on the air. He has pointed me toward the tools and given me the means make it happen.

BOMT: Defusing and Deliverance

Mosiah 7

Here we see a perfect example of the facetious-but-often-true adage, "No good deed goes unpunished."

Sixteen men are permitted by King Mosiah to travel to the land of Lehi-Nephi to check up on a group of their brethren who headed there impetuously two generations ago and were never heard from since. Forty years they had waited and still cared. (It struck me immediately that the 40 years of waiting and the 40 days wandering in the wilderness are an obvious allusion to the children of Israel and their 40 years in the wilderness.)

But instead of the warm welcome they might have expected, they were taken and bound and cast into prison. After two days in jail they were taken before the king and commanded to speak:
"I desire to know the cause whereby ye were so bold as to come near the walls of the city..." Then he essentially says, the only reason I haven't had you killed yet is to find out what you're doing here.

But despite the mistreatment, the abuse, the imprisonment, the anger, and the death threats, Ammon shows us a truly masterful example of defusing anger: 
Ammon, as leader of the men who've been imprisoned, steps forward, bows before the king, and says, "O King, I am very thankful before God this day that I am yet alive, and am permitted to speak."

Step one: Shows Respect (bows before the king, addresses him with the respectful O and his title).
Step two: Expresses Gratitude (thanks the king abundantly and sincerely, and thanks the Lord as well).

Only then does he attempt any kind of bold statement: "I will endeavor to speak with boldness, for (and this is truly bold) I am assured that if ye had known me ye would not have suffered that I should have worn these bands."

Step three: Frames his point (which in this case is that the king has made a gross error by imprisoning Ammon and his men) by assuming the best, giving the benefit of the doubt (you wouldn't have done this if you'd known...). This is, to a lesser degree, what Christ was doing when he said of his captors and crucifiers, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do."

Step four: Makes a connection (by identifying himself, his hometown, their common ancestry, a common friend, and a common purpose.)

Step five: Shows concern. "We have come up out of the land of Zarahemla to inquire concerning our brethren."

Step six: Reception. The king has instantly changed from a position of anger, suspicion and threat to being "exceedingly glad," referring to them as his brethren, rejoicing, and desiring that his people rejoice as well.

Step seven: Deliverance. "King Limhi commanded his guards they they should no more bind Ammon nor his brethren, but caused that they should...bring their brethren into the city [to] eat, and drink, and rest themselves..."

Although this was in the extreme (prison, bonds, death threat) we all encounter situations of anger, misunderstanding and even threatening accusations. But I fully believe that if we follow this pattern of defusing anger, our ideas will be better received. This is a pattern we can use with an angry co-worker, an obstinate or disobedient child...nearly any interpersonal confrontation:

1. Show Respect
2. Express Sincere Gratitude
3. Frame your message by assuming the best, giving the benefit of the doubt 
(I know you didn't mean to..., I'm sure you wouldn't have done x if you'd been aware of y)
4. Make a Connection, find common ground
5. Show Concern

The steps could be rearranged, in any order, as long as the bold message is sandwiched between the two relationship-building sections.

Of course, steps six and seven, Reception and Deliverance, are subject to the agency of the other party. But the immediate and dramatic turnaround of the king's position gives me great hope.

There's an interesting twist of fate, as the king confesses that they're in bondage to the Lamanites, and essentially asks Ammon and his men to help deliver them. In granting deliverance (i.e. forgiveness), they too are delivered (forgiven). There are many kinds of bondage we experience in the 21st century: debt, sin, addiction, depression, to name a few.

I love the promise of the closing verse:
"Turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage."