I wrote this years ago, no idea exactly when, but forgot to press publish. So this isn't current, but absolutely still resonates.
Have you sufficiently retained in remembrance his mercy and long-suffering...?
It started as a simple search for mercy. I remembered one of my favorite references, in Moroni—an oft-forgotten portion of Moroni's promise: "...Remember how merciful the Lord hath been unto the children of men, from the creation of Adam even down until the time that ye shall receive these things, and ponder it in your hearts." There, scribbled in the outside margin was a single reference: 2 Nephi 1.
I turned there and started reading. Suddenly memories of where we've been and how we've been delivered were flooding to me as I replaced the names and places with my own:
"And he spake concerning our rebellions, and the mercies of God in sparing our lives, that we were not swallowed up in that metropolis of greater Los Angeles. ...How merciful the Lord had been in warning us that we should flee out of the land of Los Angeles. For I have seen the news reports, in which I know that the real estate bubble has burst, and had we remained in Los Angeles we should also have perished."
I continued throughout the entire chapter, likening it to myself wherever I could see a parallel, and verse after verse jumped out as significant. But it wasn't until I got to the last page that it humbled me to my core:
"Rebel no more against your [husband], whose views have been glorious, and who hath kept the commandments from the time that we left [Los Angeles], and who hath been an instrument in the hands of God, in bringing us forth into the land of promise;"..."He hath suffered much sorrow because of you...for behold you have accused him that he sought power and authority over you...but he hath sought your own eternal welfare."
Right before I studied my scriptures I had prayed for some inspiration regarding our marriage, and this was my answer: You are married to a good man. Heed his counsel. Stop murmuring. I started out studying about the Lord's mercy and ended up gaining some insight into my own husband's longsuffering. You never know what's going to pierce you when you embark on a journey like this.
Showing posts with label BOMT. Show all posts
Showing posts with label BOMT. Show all posts
Monday, January 4, 2016
Tuesday, June 30, 2015
BOMT: I Never Said It Would Be Easy
Often God's solutions to our problems involve giving us more work. God seems to eschew the life of ease. Consider this classic line from chapter 17: "and because of the simpleness of the way, or the easiness of it, there were many who perished."
Recently I've been blessed with so many opportunities and at the same time burdened with too much to juggle, too many balls to keep in the air. I am terrified of dropping one of those balls. But the juggling has become pretty intense. I've been praying for direction.
One of the largest of these balls, The Living Room podcast, has actually been snowballing...in terms of listeners and building a community, and also in terms of work for us and cost for us to produce. When this opportunity originally came up, I asked the Lord if this was just "one more thing" or if it was an essential—something He really wanted and needed me to do. (Because otherwise it's a really taxing and expensive hobby!) The answer was so clear: "If I went to the trouble to part this red sea for you, you should walk across it." Wow. Okay.
When things rolled out of control last month, and so many items on my growing to-do list collided, my positive attitude waned. I asked again: Is this still something I should be doing? Or is it taking me away from more important tasks? I pleaded: Can The Living Room at least begin to pay for itself...because this is not sustainable in the long term.
Right around this time another opportunity arose...a paid writing assignment for a large online publication. Such an unexpected offer, and quite an honor. I prayed and fasted about this one too. I'm already writing quite a bit for The Living Room. I needed to know if this, too, was just "one more thing." The answer completely surprised me. I felt my heart expand to embrace it, my mind was flooded with ideas. So I added one more ball to my juggling act.
Nephi (2600 years ago) had an impossible-looking assignment from God: Build a boat. When his brothers complain about the work, doubt its results, and refuse to help, Nephi's rebuke is a great one for us all: "Murmur not, neither withhold your labor." Don't complain, Dive in! He had no idea how he was to accomplish it. But he allowed God to direct him every step of the way, and refused to doubt in his ability, with God on his side. Nephi actually had to make his own tools. (If I had to make my own computer I would have given up a long time ago!)
Just this morning it occurred to me: This was an answer to one of my earlier prayers. God didn't wave a magic wand and suddenly give The Living Room a million listeners and a steady stream of advertisers. Instead, He gave me more work. But this work will give me the exact amount of money I need to pay every month to keep The Living Room on the air. He has pointed me toward the tools and given me the means make it happen.
Recently I've been blessed with so many opportunities and at the same time burdened with too much to juggle, too many balls to keep in the air. I am terrified of dropping one of those balls. But the juggling has become pretty intense. I've been praying for direction.
One of the largest of these balls, The Living Room podcast, has actually been snowballing...in terms of listeners and building a community, and also in terms of work for us and cost for us to produce. When this opportunity originally came up, I asked the Lord if this was just "one more thing" or if it was an essential—something He really wanted and needed me to do. (Because otherwise it's a really taxing and expensive hobby!) The answer was so clear: "If I went to the trouble to part this red sea for you, you should walk across it." Wow. Okay.
When things rolled out of control last month, and so many items on my growing to-do list collided, my positive attitude waned. I asked again: Is this still something I should be doing? Or is it taking me away from more important tasks? I pleaded: Can The Living Room at least begin to pay for itself...because this is not sustainable in the long term.
Right around this time another opportunity arose...a paid writing assignment for a large online publication. Such an unexpected offer, and quite an honor. I prayed and fasted about this one too. I'm already writing quite a bit for The Living Room. I needed to know if this, too, was just "one more thing." The answer completely surprised me. I felt my heart expand to embrace it, my mind was flooded with ideas. So I added one more ball to my juggling act.
Nephi (2600 years ago) had an impossible-looking assignment from God: Build a boat. When his brothers complain about the work, doubt its results, and refuse to help, Nephi's rebuke is a great one for us all: "Murmur not, neither withhold your labor." Don't complain, Dive in! He had no idea how he was to accomplish it. But he allowed God to direct him every step of the way, and refused to doubt in his ability, with God on his side. Nephi actually had to make his own tools. (If I had to make my own computer I would have given up a long time ago!)
Just this morning it occurred to me: This was an answer to one of my earlier prayers. God didn't wave a magic wand and suddenly give The Living Room a million listeners and a steady stream of advertisers. Instead, He gave me more work. But this work will give me the exact amount of money I need to pay every month to keep The Living Room on the air. He has pointed me toward the tools and given me the means make it happen.
Monday, July 25, 2011
BOMT: Defusing and Deliverance
Mosiah 7
Here we see a perfect example of the facetious-but-often-true adage, "No good deed goes unpunished."
Sixteen men are permitted by King Mosiah to travel to the land of Lehi-Nephi to check up on a group of their brethren who headed there impetuously two generations ago and were never heard from since. Forty years they had waited and still cared. (It struck me immediately that the 40 years of waiting and the 40 days wandering in the wilderness are an obvious allusion to the children of Israel and their 40 years in the wilderness.)
But instead of the warm welcome they might have expected, they were taken and bound and cast into prison. After two days in jail they were taken before the king and commanded to speak:
"I desire to know the cause whereby ye were so bold as to come near the walls of the city..." Then he essentially says, the only reason I haven't had you killed yet is to find out what you're doing here.
But despite the mistreatment, the abuse, the imprisonment, the anger, and the death threats, Ammon shows us a truly masterful example of defusing anger:
Ammon, as leader of the men who've been imprisoned, steps forward, bows before the king, and says, "O King, I am very thankful before God this day that I am yet alive, and am permitted to speak."
Step one: Shows Respect (bows before the king, addresses him with the respectful O and his title).
Step two: Expresses Gratitude (thanks the king abundantly and sincerely, and thanks the Lord as well).
Only then does he attempt any kind of bold statement: "I will endeavor to speak with boldness, for (and this is truly bold) I am assured that if ye had known me ye would not have suffered that I should have worn these bands."
Step three: Frames his point (which in this case is that the king has made a gross error by imprisoning Ammon and his men) by assuming the best, giving the benefit of the doubt (you wouldn't have done this if you'd known...). This is, to a lesser degree, what Christ was doing when he said of his captors and crucifiers, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do."
Step four: Makes a connection (by identifying himself, his hometown, their common ancestry, a common friend, and a common purpose.)
Step five: Shows concern. "We have come up out of the land of Zarahemla to inquire concerning our brethren."
Step six: Reception. The king has instantly changed from a position of anger, suspicion and threat to being "exceedingly glad," referring to them as his brethren, rejoicing, and desiring that his people rejoice as well.
Step seven: Deliverance. "King Limhi commanded his guards they they should no more bind Ammon nor his brethren, but caused that they should...bring their brethren into the city [to] eat, and drink, and rest themselves..."
Although this was in the extreme (prison, bonds, death threat) we all encounter situations of anger, misunderstanding and even threatening accusations. But I fully believe that if we follow this pattern of defusing anger, our ideas will be better received. This is a pattern we can use with an angry co-worker, an obstinate or disobedient child...nearly any interpersonal confrontation:
1. Show Respect
2. Express Sincere Gratitude
3. Frame your message by assuming the best, giving the benefit of the doubt
(I know you didn't mean to..., I'm sure you wouldn't have done x if you'd been aware of y)
4. Make a Connection, find common ground
5. Show Concern
The steps could be rearranged, in any order, as long as the bold message is sandwiched between the two relationship-building sections.
Of course, steps six and seven, Reception and Deliverance, are subject to the agency of the other party. But the immediate and dramatic turnaround of the king's position gives me great hope.
There's an interesting twist of fate, as the king confesses that they're in bondage to the Lamanites, and essentially asks Ammon and his men to help deliver them. In granting deliverance (i.e. forgiveness), they too are delivered (forgiven). There are many kinds of bondage we experience in the 21st century: debt, sin, addiction, depression, to name a few.
I love the promise of the closing verse:
"Turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage."
Here we see a perfect example of the facetious-but-often-true adage, "No good deed goes unpunished."
Sixteen men are permitted by King Mosiah to travel to the land of Lehi-Nephi to check up on a group of their brethren who headed there impetuously two generations ago and were never heard from since. Forty years they had waited and still cared. (It struck me immediately that the 40 years of waiting and the 40 days wandering in the wilderness are an obvious allusion to the children of Israel and their 40 years in the wilderness.)
But instead of the warm welcome they might have expected, they were taken and bound and cast into prison. After two days in jail they were taken before the king and commanded to speak:
"I desire to know the cause whereby ye were so bold as to come near the walls of the city..." Then he essentially says, the only reason I haven't had you killed yet is to find out what you're doing here.
But despite the mistreatment, the abuse, the imprisonment, the anger, and the death threats, Ammon shows us a truly masterful example of defusing anger:
Ammon, as leader of the men who've been imprisoned, steps forward, bows before the king, and says, "O King, I am very thankful before God this day that I am yet alive, and am permitted to speak."
Step one: Shows Respect (bows before the king, addresses him with the respectful O and his title).
Step two: Expresses Gratitude (thanks the king abundantly and sincerely, and thanks the Lord as well).
Only then does he attempt any kind of bold statement: "I will endeavor to speak with boldness, for (and this is truly bold) I am assured that if ye had known me ye would not have suffered that I should have worn these bands."
Step three: Frames his point (which in this case is that the king has made a gross error by imprisoning Ammon and his men) by assuming the best, giving the benefit of the doubt (you wouldn't have done this if you'd known...). This is, to a lesser degree, what Christ was doing when he said of his captors and crucifiers, "Forgive them, for they know not what they do."
Step four: Makes a connection (by identifying himself, his hometown, their common ancestry, a common friend, and a common purpose.)
Step five: Shows concern. "We have come up out of the land of Zarahemla to inquire concerning our brethren."
Step six: Reception. The king has instantly changed from a position of anger, suspicion and threat to being "exceedingly glad," referring to them as his brethren, rejoicing, and desiring that his people rejoice as well.
Step seven: Deliverance. "King Limhi commanded his guards they they should no more bind Ammon nor his brethren, but caused that they should...bring their brethren into the city [to] eat, and drink, and rest themselves..."
Although this was in the extreme (prison, bonds, death threat) we all encounter situations of anger, misunderstanding and even threatening accusations. But I fully believe that if we follow this pattern of defusing anger, our ideas will be better received. This is a pattern we can use with an angry co-worker, an obstinate or disobedient child...nearly any interpersonal confrontation:
1. Show Respect
2. Express Sincere Gratitude
3. Frame your message by assuming the best, giving the benefit of the doubt
(I know you didn't mean to..., I'm sure you wouldn't have done x if you'd been aware of y)
4. Make a Connection, find common ground
5. Show Concern
The steps could be rearranged, in any order, as long as the bold message is sandwiched between the two relationship-building sections.
Of course, steps six and seven, Reception and Deliverance, are subject to the agency of the other party. But the immediate and dramatic turnaround of the king's position gives me great hope.
There's an interesting twist of fate, as the king confesses that they're in bondage to the Lamanites, and essentially asks Ammon and his men to help deliver them. In granting deliverance (i.e. forgiveness), they too are delivered (forgiven). There are many kinds of bondage we experience in the 21st century: debt, sin, addiction, depression, to name a few.
I love the promise of the closing verse:
"Turn to the Lord with full purpose of heart, and put your trust in him, and serve him with all diligence of mind, if ye do this, he will, according to his own will and pleasure, deliver you out of bondage."
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