WITS: Of course it comes down to food!

In Genesis we see Eve's thought process as she approaches the forbidden fruit, and the steps reveal quite a lot about her character, and about the nature of the female psyche.

It was a few years into marriage and motherhood before I realized, "My entire life revolves around food!" Not just three times a day seeking out personal nourishment, but many of us are responsible for feeding a husband and possibly a houseful of kids too. Then there are the snacks. Heaven knows every kid needs them. Grown-ups too. We start planning our days around having just the right stash for whatever need may arise. But it doesn't stop there. Oh, no. Not only are we consuming and preparing food, we shop for it too! We make meal plans, we budget, and then we make impulse purchases, because, well, here we are at the store, and we're starving, and look what's on display, look what they're sampling at Costco, look what's on sale! It is a constant focus, ever present in the back of our minds even when we're not conscious of it.

So what was Eve's first response to the serpent's wily questions: "It was good for food." This makes perfect sense to me. Will it feed my family? Will it help me get dinner on the table faster? Done.

Her next rationale is pretty good too. Actually, it's amazingly forward-thinking and insightful. She wanted to be like the gods. She wanted the gift of discernment between right and wrong, good and evil. She wanted her eyes opened to spiritual matters and knowledge and wisdom and understanding.

Even if our first impulse is to open our mouths, "It looks good for food," let our next impulse always be, "I want to be like God. Open my eyes and my heart to greater knowledge and wisdom."

WITS: Eve and Marital Intimacy

One October night as we were riding home in the car with our daughter, she asked what my husband and I were going to be for Halloween. (We have a big family party where handsome prizes are doled out for the best couples' costumes.) Both devoid of ideas, Jeff facetiously suggested we go as Adam and Eve. I responded, "But what if I don't like my Eve costume any more?" (lamenting the current state of my body). He responded, "Well I still like your Eve costume!" Our daughter thought this conversation was hilarious! But it was reassuring to me that he still likes my "Eve costume" (i.e. naked body) after thirty years of marriage!

In Genesis 2:24-25 the Lord teaches Eve (and Adam) about physical intimacy in marriage.

24 Therefore shall a ^aman leave his ^bfather and his mother, and shall ^ccleave unto his ^dwife: and they shall be ^eone flesh.

25 And they were both ^anaked, the man and his wife, and were not ^bashamed.

In a previous post I wrote about verse 25 in terms of body image, and not being ashamed of the beautiful gift we've been given to house our spirits. Today I want to look that same verse in terms of marriage.  I have always been a little shy about my body, and reticent to get physically involved with any of my dates. It completely surprised me on my wedding night how ready I was to give myself completely to Jeff. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to be naked, and not ashamed. With the right person, at the right time, is how God intended marital intimacy, and under those conditions I received the gift Adam and Eve had in the garden of Eden...to be together, completely trusting and vulnerable, with no shame attached.

I love that marital intimacy is a commandment. A commandment separate from the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. It is certainly not just for the purpose of procreation. When my gynecologist explained that to me before we were married—that it's a commandment, that God wants us to be "one flesh"—it suddenly made so much sense. Many times I have thanked the Lord for the permission and gift of sexual intimacy within the bonds of marriage. To become "one flesh" is one of the most loving, healing, and bonding acts and such a beautiful expression of love.

A friend once told me that Satan does everything in his power to get you to have sex before marriage, and then he does everything in his power to keep you from making love to each other after marriage...exactly opposite what the Lord desires for us. It is so important not to let minor squabbles or too-full calendars get in the way of the precious togetherness that is one of the sweetest privilege of the marriage relationship.

Question: How comfortable am I in sharing my body with my husband? Am I truly giving myself to him, and finding joy in that sacred relationship? Am I careful to avoid anything that would interfere with this gift of intimacy?

WITS: Eve and the Marriage Partnership

One day when we were dating, Jeff was talking to me about his future goals (moving to Los Angeles, going to film school at USC, and having a career as a writer/producer/director in the film industry). I can still remember exactly where I was, what I was doing, where I was standing. As I listened to these grand plans, there was a precise moment when the spirit whispered to me, "...and you're going to be the one to help him." I didn't say a word to him at the time, but I knew then and there that we would eventually get married.

That's the first image that came to mind when I read the term "help meet" in Genesis 2:18—that I had a divine assignment to help my husband achieve his goals, to be his partner.

"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." 

At first glance, "help meet" sounds a little like a servant or underling, but it actually means a "helper suited to, worthy of or corresponding to him." Another definition I read is "a power equal to save." It is definitely an equal partnership; not an inferior role.

In Moses 5:1 it says, "Eve did labor with him." Again, a partnership. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World we're told that "in these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help each other as equal partners." For our entire marriage, I have worked alongside Jeff to contribute to the family finances, and he has worked alongside me in the raising of our children.

Eve, as the world's first official wife, can teach us much about that sacred assignment. The equality mentioned above creates a solid footing for healthy intimacy in marriage as well. 

Question: How can I be sure I am helping my husband in the ways he needs most? Am I a worthy partner for this great man?

WITS: What does Eve teach us about body image?

Genesis 1: 26-27
Let us make man in our own image, after our [plural] likeness...
In the image of God created he him, male and female created he them. 

Women, too are created in God's image. And as the plural connotes, very likely in the image of a female goddess, a Heavenly Mother who is a partner to God the Father.

The word Man often refers to Mankind, Adam is a surname of sorts, referring to both individuals Adam and Eve at times, (the Lord called their name Adam) and the name Elohim means plural Gods, or Brother and Sister God, if you will, a husband and wife.

Genesis 1: 31

And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very ^agood. And the evening and the morning were the ^bsixth day.

God evaluated his work at the end of each creative period. And each time it was pronounced good. Only after creating the woman was God's work pronounced "very good."

Clearly our bodies are divine gifts, in the image of divine, exalted beings. They are an essential step in reaching a greater likeness to those in whose image we were created. And they are in his words "very good."

Question: So why do we as women have a natural inclination to be critical of, ashamed of, and even loathe our bodies?

One answer is in Genesis! God teaches us to love, use, clothe and care for our bodies, beginning with Eve in the Garden of Eden. Yet there remains some very real pain and shame associated with exposing our beautiful female bodies. In Genesis 2:25 it says, "They were both naked, and were not ashamed." So what happened?

In 2014 I was chosen to read an essay I wrote on Body Image to a large audience, at an event called Listen to Your Mother. It's called Bodies in My Basement . It documents some of my own body image issues, and the way I used to hide my body in shame at the pool rather than participate in the laughter and fun in the water with my children. Here are portions of the concluding paragraphs:

I yearn to develop an Artist's Eye—the Creator’s view—toward my own body. I remember that form follows function. I’m slowly learning to rejoice in my ripples and curves rather than lamenting the loss of the hardbody of my twenties. It’s easier to love the pillow of padding on my belly when I remember how I earned it: creating life, giving birth—four miraculous times. Through conceiving, bearing, feeding and nurturing children—through motherhood—I have finally used every part of my body exactly as it was designed, every function for its intended purpose. I may not look perfect, but I am complete.

I make a conscious decision to own my complete form and join my children in the pool. ...I enter the water slowly, tentatively at first. I take a step, and then another. ..I throw on an imaginary cloak of invisibility, shutting out judgement and shame.

The water catches ripples of light, sparkling in the sun. The initial shock of cold gives way to a refreshing escape from the heat of the day. I am immersed. Lifting my head, catching my breath, feeling clean and alive, I see my children’s faces, beaming. They don’t notice the varicose veins or the dimples of cellulite. They see their mother, present and joyful.... They may not be aware of the pride I sacrificed to join them in the pool, but I can tell they sense the love behind the gesture. Their smiles and enthusiasm tell me their happiness multiplied when I finally summoned the courage to dive in, all in. With them.

Well, in Genesis 3, vs 7-8 Eve has an encounter with Satan.  Satan wants us to feel ashamed of our bodies and hide them because he doesn't have a body of his own; he lost that privilege! He wants to taint our experience with embarrassment and shame. Only after Eve (and Adam) encounter Satan and partake of the fruit are they "ashamed" and "hide themselves." Satan is the original source of our body image issues. The closer we connect to God and learn from Him, like Eve did, how to value, care for, use, love, and cover our bodies, the healthier our body image will become.

Questions: In what ways do I fall prey to Satan's trap and begin to devalue or feel ashamed of my body? Can I distance myself from media, people, and other sources that offer me a skewed, unhealthy perspective on body image and issues? 

How can I better celebrate my body as the divine gift that it truly is? What do I love about my body? Do I express daily gratitude for my body? Do I clothe my body in ways that show honor and respect for both its form and its functions?