WITS: Like Mother, Like Daughter...of Eve.

Some of what women do in the day-to-day can seem very mundane. It helped me as a young mother — and still does today — to realize that even the most boring and mindless tasks, and in fact the mere dailiness of what we do, also reminds us repeatedly of The Plan and the love that underscores every part of it:

Here are some parts of The Plan as seen in the Garden of Eden— and carried out daily in women's work.

Creation: God created the earth to prepare a beautiful, comfortable home for us, his children. This creation was a key part of the plan and is mentioned in every book of scripture. We women perform small acts of creation day after day, empowered with love for our families. We create a home that is beautiful and comfortable, a place of nurturing and love. A house of learning. A sanctuary of faith. 

I have a unique background in creation. My dad has a PhD in creativity. In our home growing up, creativity was one of the hallmarks. As an artist and designer, my career allows me to create every day. Creating is a big part of what I do and who I am. But it doesn’t need to be a career, or even a talent, to hav a place in your life. Every one of us has the opportunity to create and add beauty wherever we are. 

Planting a garden: God planted a garden in Eden. Many women love working the soil, both to beautify their homes and to feed their families. It is so satisfying and exciting to watch little seedlings burst into life, stretch and grow toward the light. There is also always a life lesson as we spend time watering, nurturing those growing plants, and pulling the weeds that could rob the growing plants of water and light. 

Talking to God. Adam and Eve walked and talked with God in the garden. Mothers are their children’s first introduction to both verbal and spiritual conversation. As we look and smile at babies, teaching them to imitate our voices and sounds, they mirror our words and emotions and gradually begin to pick up the gift of language and expression. 

Mothers are typically great listeners and conversationalists. From expressing delight over a toddler’s discoveries, to answering endless questions, “WHY?” to waiting up until the wee hours of the morning to hear how a date went, mothers are both available and willing models of meaningful connection. 

Similarly, women model spiritual communication. From those earliest moments of helping a toddler fold his chubby arms to pray, both at the dinner table and at their bedside, our children learn they can walk and talk with God. We are all still learning to walk and talk with God. I remember stepping into my mother's bedroom as a young girl and seeing her on her knees in prayer. The entire room felt like a sacred space. I just quietly tiptoed out. But I felt then that my mom was actually talking to God. 

Setting boundaries: God told our first parents they could eat from all the trees in the garden…except one. Mothers daily set and enforce boundaries, protecting our children and grandchildren and helping them feel safe and secure.

Clothing loved ones: Before they left the garden, the Lord made coverings of skins for Adam and Eve. 

“And the Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them” (Genesis 3:21, Talmud). 

Whether we sew or not, it is our responsibility to clothe our families. We spend countless hours purchasing, mending, washing, pressing and folding clothes for our families. It helps me to think that this was also something Jehovah was willing to do. 
In addition, according to some talmudic scholars, their garments were actually made of celestial light. The fall dimmed that light. Whenever we teach our children about the plan of salvation and the gospel of Jesus Christ, we are , not unlike the armor of God, clothing them in greater light.

Delivering consequences: God gave us (his children) a colossal time-out. Because of the fall, we were cast out of the garden and cast out of his presence. From that point on we had to learn to walk by faith. All of us. 

Time-outs are also a near-daily occurrence for a mother, as she teaches her children appropriate behavior. And yet, if we compare this work too to our Father’s plan, isn’t it often more of a burden on the mother than on the errant child to enforce that grounding or take away their car privilege? Yet we endure these consequences to establish a pattern of learning. 

How hard must it be for Heavenly Father to be removed from us? How often does he want to reach through the veil and take us in his arms, hold us close? But he has to refrain, knowing this is the only way we can truly learn.

To God, all things are spiritual. There is no task he asks us to undertake, no choice or decision that doesn't have spiritual significance. This helped me so much when my children were young, and the tasks seemed endless. I continue to be inspired by these ideas. 

QUESTION: What else do you do that is similar to Eve and her experience in Eden?

WITS: Of course it comes down to food!

In Genesis we see Eve's thought process as she approaches the forbidden fruit, and the steps reveal quite a lot about her character, and about the nature of the female psyche.

It was a few years into marriage and motherhood before I realized, "My entire life revolves around food!" Not just three times a day seeking out personal nourishment, but many of us are responsible for feeding a husband and possibly a houseful of kids too. Then there are the snacks. Heaven knows every kid needs them. Grown-ups too. We start planning our days around having just the right stash for whatever need may arise. But it doesn't stop there. Oh, no. Not only are we consuming and preparing food, we shop for it too! We make meal plans, we budget, and then we make impulse purchases, because, well, here we are at the store, and we're starving, and look what's on display, look what they're sampling at Costco, look what's on sale! It is a constant focus, ever present in the back of our minds even when we're not conscious of it.

So what was Eve's first response to the serpent's wily questions: "It was good for food." This makes perfect sense to me. Will it feed my family? Will it help me get dinner on the table faster? Done.

Her next rationale is pretty good too. Actually, it's amazingly forward-thinking and insightful. She wanted to be like the gods. She wanted the gift of discernment between right and wrong, good and evil. She wanted her eyes opened to spiritual matters and knowledge and wisdom and understanding.

Even if our first impulse is to open our mouths, "It looks good for food," let our next impulse always be, "I want to be like God. Open my eyes and my heart to greater knowledge and wisdom."

WITS: Eve and Marital Intimacy

One October night as we were riding home in the car with our daughter, she asked what my husband and I were going to be for Halloween. (We have a big family party where handsome prizes are doled out for the best couples' costumes.) Both devoid of ideas, Jeff facetiously suggested we go as Adam and Eve. I responded, "But what if I don't like my Eve costume any more?" (lamenting the current state of my body). He responded, "Well I still like your Eve costume!" Our daughter thought this conversation was hilarious! But it was reassuring to me that he still likes my "Eve costume" (i.e. naked body) after thirty years of marriage!

In Genesis 2:24-25 the Lord teaches Eve (and Adam) about physical intimacy in marriage.

24 Therefore shall a ^aman leave his ^bfather and his mother, and shall ^ccleave unto his ^dwife: and they shall be ^eone flesh.

25 And they were both ^anaked, the man and his wife, and were not ^bashamed.

In a previous post I wrote about verse 25 in terms of body image, and not being ashamed of the beautiful gift we've been given to house our spirits. Today I want to look that same verse in terms of marriage.  I have always been a little shy about my body, and reticent to get physically involved with any of my dates. It completely surprised me on my wedding night how ready I was to give myself completely to Jeff. It seemed like the most natural thing in the world to be naked, and not ashamed. With the right person, at the right time, is how God intended marital intimacy, and under those conditions I received the gift Adam and Eve had in the garden of Eden...to be together, completely trusting and vulnerable, with no shame attached.

I love that marital intimacy is a commandment. A commandment separate from the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. It is certainly not just for the purpose of procreation. When my gynecologist explained that to me before we were married—that it's a commandment, that God wants us to be "one flesh"—it suddenly made so much sense. Many times I have thanked the Lord for the permission and gift of sexual intimacy within the bonds of marriage. To become "one flesh" is one of the most loving, healing, and bonding acts and such a beautiful expression of love.

A friend once told me that Satan does everything in his power to get you to have sex before marriage, and then he does everything in his power to keep you from making love to each other after marriage...exactly opposite what the Lord desires for us. It is so important not to let minor squabbles or too-full calendars get in the way of the precious togetherness that is one of the sweetest privilege of the marriage relationship.

Question: How comfortable am I in sharing my body with my husband? Am I truly giving myself to him, and finding joy in that sacred relationship? Am I careful to avoid anything that would interfere with this gift of intimacy?

WITS: Eve and the Marriage Partnership

One day when we were dating, Jeff was talking to me about his future goals (moving to Los Angeles, going to film school at USC, and having a career as a writer/producer/director in the film industry). I can still remember exactly where I was, what I was doing, where I was standing. As I listened to these grand plans, there was a precise moment when the spirit whispered to me, "...and you're going to be the one to help him." I didn't say a word to him at the time, but I knew then and there that we would eventually get married.

That's the first image that came to mind when I read the term "help meet" in Genesis 2:18—that I had a divine assignment to help my husband achieve his goals, to be his partner.

"It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him." 

At first glance, "help meet" sounds a little like a servant or underling, but it actually means a "helper suited to, worthy of or corresponding to him." Another definition I read is "a power equal to save." It is definitely an equal partnership; not an inferior role.

In Moses 5:1 it says, "Eve did labor with him." Again, a partnership. In The Family: A Proclamation to the World we're told that "in these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help each other as equal partners." For our entire marriage, I have worked alongside Jeff to contribute to the family finances, and he has worked alongside me in the raising of our children.

Eve, as the world's first official wife, can teach us much about that sacred assignment. The equality mentioned above creates a solid footing for healthy intimacy in marriage as well. 

Question: How can I be sure I am helping my husband in the ways he needs most? Am I a worthy partner for this great man?

WITS: What does Eve teach us about body image?

Genesis 1: 26-27
Let us make man in our own image, after our [plural] likeness...
In the image of God created he him, male and female created he them. 

Women, too are created in God's image. And as the plural connotes, very likely in the image of a female goddess, a Heavenly Mother who is a partner to God the Father.

The word Man often refers to Mankind, Adam is a surname of sorts, referring to both individuals Adam and Eve at times, (the Lord called their name Adam) and the name Elohim means plural Gods, or Brother and Sister God, if you will, a husband and wife.

Genesis 1: 31

And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very ^agood. And the evening and the morning were the ^bsixth day.

God evaluated his work at the end of each creative period. And each time it was pronounced good. Only after creating the woman was God's work pronounced "very good."

Clearly our bodies are divine gifts, in the image of divine, exalted beings. They are an essential step in reaching a greater likeness to those in whose image we were created. And they are in his words "very good."

Question: So why do we as women have a natural inclination to be critical of, ashamed of, and even loathe our bodies?

One answer is in Genesis! God teaches us to love, use, clothe and care for our bodies, beginning with Eve in the Garden of Eden. Yet there remains some very real pain and shame associated with exposing our beautiful female bodies. In Genesis 2:25 it says, "They were both naked, and were not ashamed." So what happened?

In 2014 I was chosen to read an essay I wrote on Body Image to a large audience, at an event called Listen to Your Mother. It's called Bodies in My Basement . It documents some of my own body image issues, and the way I used to hide my body in shame at the pool rather than participate in the laughter and fun in the water with my children. Here are portions of the concluding paragraphs:

I yearn to develop an Artist's Eye—the Creator’s view—toward my own body. I remember that form follows function. I’m slowly learning to rejoice in my ripples and curves rather than lamenting the loss of the hardbody of my twenties. It’s easier to love the pillow of padding on my belly when I remember how I earned it: creating life, giving birth—four miraculous times. Through conceiving, bearing, feeding and nurturing children—through motherhood—I have finally used every part of my body exactly as it was designed, every function for its intended purpose. I may not look perfect, but I am complete.

I make a conscious decision to own my complete form and join my children in the pool. ...I enter the water slowly, tentatively at first. I take a step, and then another. ..I throw on an imaginary cloak of invisibility, shutting out judgement and shame.

The water catches ripples of light, sparkling in the sun. The initial shock of cold gives way to a refreshing escape from the heat of the day. I am immersed. Lifting my head, catching my breath, feeling clean and alive, I see my children’s faces, beaming. They don’t notice the varicose veins or the dimples of cellulite. They see their mother, present and joyful.... They may not be aware of the pride I sacrificed to join them in the pool, but I can tell they sense the love behind the gesture. Their smiles and enthusiasm tell me their happiness multiplied when I finally summoned the courage to dive in, all in. With them.

Well, in Genesis 3, vs 7-8 Eve has an encounter with Satan.  Satan wants us to feel ashamed of our bodies and hide them because he doesn't have a body of his own; he lost that privilege! He wants to taint our experience with embarrassment and shame. Only after Eve (and Adam) encounter Satan and partake of the fruit are they "ashamed" and "hide themselves." Satan is the original source of our body image issues. The closer we connect to God and learn from Him, like Eve did, how to value, care for, use, love, and cover our bodies, the healthier our body image will become.

Questions: In what ways do I fall prey to Satan's trap and begin to devalue or feel ashamed of my body? Can I distance myself from media, people, and other sources that offer me a skewed, unhealthy perspective on body image and issues? 

How can I better celebrate my body as the divine gift that it truly is? What do I love about my body? Do I express daily gratitude for my body? Do I clothe my body in ways that show honor and respect for both its form and its functions?

Keep your WITS* about you! (*Women in the Scriptures)

This past week I began a new focus to my scripture study. Following an idea from my friend and Living Room podcast co-host, Paige Sorensen, I began studying with a focus on Women in the Scriptures. I am going very slowly, focusing on depth rather than breadth, and asking myself poignant, open-ended questions about how each woman's faith and experience could apply to my own life.

As Maria Von Trapp recommends, let's start from the very beginning, a very good place to start. Join me for a daily in-depth look at Women in the Scriptures and how their stories can impact our stories, beginning with Eve and the choice made in Eden.


*All Women in the Scriptures posts will have the acronym WITS in their title.

BOMT: An Inside Look at Temptation

Temptation is scary business. It's that alluring thread that pulls us someplace we know we shouldn't 

be heading, then knots us from in front and behind until we're stuck there. I don't like feeling stuck. 

Ever. But somehow when we see those captivating cords -- no matter how many times we've ventured down that rabbit hole -- we seem not to draw the inevitable conclusion at the end of the thread...the 

knot. Where our progress stops cold.








Photo by Sebastian Bischof from Pexels

My personal scripture study today reminded me of an experience about ten years ago when we picked up our son from the wilderness. 

We drove three hours to the Middle of Nowhere (otherwise known as Loa, Utah) to retrieve our son from a behavior modification program. We underwent a half-day of therapy before we were reunited with our boy. And then participated in a day and a half of communication exercises and family therapy once we were reunited. Most of the kids there were trying to beat an addiction of some sort. One of the concepts that stuck with me was the acronym H A L T T. 

Hungry 

Angry 

Lonely 

Thirsty 

Tired

They taught us that we are at our very weakest when we're in one of these states, the least able to resist temptation. And the best response is to stop. or HALT. (with a double T).  Don't latch onto that flaxen cord when our defenses are down!

Today in my reading I noticed that when Christ was tempted, the scriptures also describe these weak 

states, when the body wants to rule the mind. 

King Benjamin prophesied of those suffering and temptations over 100 years before Christ was born: 

Mosiah 3:7 And lo, he shall suffer temptations, and pain of body, hunger, thirst, and fatigue, even more than man can suffer, except it be unto death; ...



It would appear that managing our energy is a key to managing temptation.


Examine your physical state and then HALTT




A few chapters later we're given still more insight into how he managed temptation. 




Mosiah 15:5 And thus the flesh becoming subject to the Spirit ... asuffereth temptation, and yieldeth not to the temptation,




Strengthening our spirit to the point that it's in charge of our body—rather than the other way around—is one tactic the Savior used in order to stand his ground and "yield not" to temptation. we know how to strengthen our bodies (eat right, exercise), but how do we strengthen our spirits? (eat right --feasting on the word of God--and exercise faith through obedience, service and prayer.) The stronger our personal connection to our Father in Heaven the stronger our spirit will become.




Matthew 4:1-11


1 Then was Jesus led ...[alone]...into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil.
2 And when he had fasted forty days and forty nights, hewas afterward an hungred.
3 And when the tempter came to him, he said, If thou be the Son of God, command that these stones be made bread. (presents doubt of divine parentage, appeals to his bodily hunger)
4 But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God. (Jesus quotes scripture to strengthen himself and ward off temptation. 

5 Then the devil taketh him up into the holy city, and setteth him [alone] on a pinnacle  of the temple,

6 And saith unto him, If thou be the Son of God, cast thyself down: for it is written, He shall give his angels charge concerning thee: and in their hands they shall bear thee up, lest at any time thou dash thy foot against a stone. (presents doubt of divine parentage, wants him to commit suicide, basically)
7 Jesus said unto him, It is written again, Thou shalt not tempt the Lord thy God. (Jesus quotes scripture to strengthen himself and ward off temptation.) 
8 Again, the devil taketh him up into an exceeding high mountain, [remote place] and sheweth him all the kingdoms of the world, and the glory of them;
9 And saith unto him, All these things will I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. (Promises worldly power and glory in exchange for false worship.)
10 Then saith Jesus unto him, Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve. (Jesus quotes scripture to strengthen himself and ward off temptation.)

11 Then the devil leaveth him, and, behold, angels came and ministered unto him.

The clear takeaway from these passages is how important it is to manage our energy, be aware of how our bodily state can affect our spiritual state, and become adept at not just knowing but using and 

living what we learn from the scriptures.

Question: What is tempting to you? How to you keep temptation at bay? What reminds you to HALT?