BOMT - In the Beginning...1 Nephi 1:1-4

1 Nephi 1:1

1 I, Nephi, having been ^aborn of ^bgoodly ^cparents, therefore I was ^dtaught somewhat in all the learning of my father; and having seen many ^eafflictions in the course of my days, nevertheless, having been highly favored of the Lord in all my days; yea, having had a great knowledge of the goodness and the mysteries of God, therefore I make a ^frecord of my proceedings in my days.

Good parents teach their children everything they know and have learned. Good parents/good teachers raised someone the likes of Nephi.

Having afflictions and being highly favored of the Lord are not mutually exclusive. In fact, it appears, since these are in the same sentence, that there is a corollary, and perhaps being highly favored brings on the afflictions, and our turning to him in the midst of those afflictions makes us again highly favored. (Think: The lord chastens those he loves.) Nephi's response to his afflictions is a deeper knowledge and understanding of God and His mysteries, and also a closeness to Him. Hardships seem inextricably linked to being loved by God and deepening our understanding of Him.

All of this compels Nephi to make a record of what he is learning and experiencing -- exactly what we're doing!

1 Nephi 1:2 -3

2 Yea, I make a record in the ^alanguage of my father, which consists of the learning of the Jews and the language of the Egyptians.

3 And I know that the record which I make is ^atrue; and I make it with mine own hand; and I make it according to my knowledge.

Lehi modeled good language for his children; made sure what was spoken in his home was not corrupted. His children may have been bilingual: (The learning of the Jews and the language of the Egyptians) or this may just define Reformed Egyptian. Nephi was literate and able to write clearly and succinctly because of the example of his parents, particularly his father.

In the way we both speak and write, we can model excellent language for our children. In diction and tone, and by avoiding anything coarse or profane, we can use our words as a vehicle to express our faith.

1 Nephi 1:4

4 For it came to pass in the commencement of the ^afirst year of the reign of ^bZedekiah, king of Judah, (my father, Lehi, having dwelt at ^cJerusalem in all his days); and in that same year there came many ^dprophets, prophesying unto the people that they must ^erepent, or the great city ^fJerusalem must be destroyed.

Lehi paid attention to the current counsel of the living prophets ("in that same year"). He prayed for personal confirmation of their prophesies, and prayed deeply (with all his heart) for "his people". He must have been at least a church leader, or could also have been (likely was) one of the many prophets preaching repentance to the people of Jerusalem.

I'm asking myself (and the Lord) Who are "my people?" Certainly my husband, my children. From there, the sisters I minister to; the choir I lead; loved ones in our extended family. What about my friends far and wide? You are definitely "my people". What about my ward, my community? I feel a sort of Enos-like experience coming on, where I want to pray for so many people!

Okay, I'm stopping now. I can't possibly apply more than these three ideas today.



p.s. I looked up the word Murmur in Webster's 1828 dictionary, and it's defined as: 1. (N) A complaint half suppressed, or uttered in a low, muttering voice. 2. (V) To grumble; to complain; to utter complaints in a low, half articulated voice; to utter sullen discontent;

I'm feeling totally busted for all the disgruntlement I mutter under my breath. There I was, thinking that didn't count if I didn't actually say it out loud. And I find myself instead camping out with Laman and Lemuel! One more thing to work on, after just a few verses of scripture! Very humbling.

BOMT: Introduction, Q & A

My friend E recently ran across a copy of a talk I'd sent to her a couple of months ago, and suddenly this paragraph jumped out at her:

My second time teaching Book of Mormon in Gospel Doctrine, I chose to approach the year as “Book of Mormon Therapy”, the idea that there were many problems in our lives we could find answers to, solutions for, and even minor soul-repair in the scriptures. I wasn’t prepared for what happened next. A new family moved into the area, and the wife set about carving out a niche for herself by breaking up other friendships. She became quite divisive as she weaseled her way into friendships, and she had singled out two of my closest friends, trying to get closer to them by talking about me behind my back. I had a hard time having any kind feelings at all for this woman, and my heart was hardening toward her. But as I read the Book of Mormon I realized the one who perhaps most needed this “Book of Mormon therapy” was me. Over several months of intense study, I rediscovered that one of the strongest overarching themes of the Book of Mormon was love, and that it was impossible to sincerely study without being touched by that love and radiating it outward. This woman eventually became a friend, and my heart had been softened and changed by the word of God.

Then she asked, "So, how can we practice "Book of Mormon Therapy" on a daily basis? I'm not saying that the Book of Mormon can cure everything. Even C doesn't say it in her talk. But how can this help us? I just was looking at our struggles and wondering how The Book of Mormon could help us. And how we might be able to pay more attention and see if we have any insights we could share. I've had all sorts of questions enter my mind. "

"How can Book of Mormon Therapy help me control my eating? How can Book of Mormon Therapy help me maintain control of my temper? Have the desire and/or motivation to exercise? Strengthen my marriage? Keep my priorities in order? Help me manage my time? Help me manage my finances? I'm feeling the head to heart gap in a big way today, perhaps. "

Oh, what great questions! How can a rich study of the Book of Mormon directly affect life's day-to-day challenges? There is nothing a good teacher (and God himself) loves more than a hungry heart! This was my lengthy and perhaps overenthusiastic response:

I'm so glad that paragraph resonated for you! These are great questions. I have about a thousand answers running through my head, faster than I can possibly type them.

1. First of all, hungering and wanting answers, wanting to make progress is an all-important first step.

2. Wendy Watson Nelson recommends simply beginning with a specific question in mind and reading until you get your answer. Another book she wrote more recently is titled, Change Your Questions, Change Your Life. So there is something about finding and asking the RIGHT question, and then reading until you get an answer, that strikes me as key.

3. Message of the Book of Mormon (Elder Holland)

"Love. Healing. Help. Hope. The power of Christ to counter all troubles in all times—including the end of times. That is the safe harbor God wants for us in personal or public days of despair. That is the message with which the Book of Mormon begins, and that is the message with which it ends, calling all to 'come unto Christ, and be perfected in him' (Moroni 10:32)."

Jeffrey R. Holland, "Safety for the Soul," Ensign, Nov. 2009, 88

4. I left a comment on K's last post about my great-great-great grandmother, Mary Ann Frost, who had an apparent addiction to snuff. She said that whenever she was craving it, she would open the Book of Mormon, and reading from it would make the cravings vanish. I believe that we can apply that same principle to foods we crave that are unhealthy--particularly sugar.

5. Sometimes the answers and help and actual therapy aren't in the words themselves, but in the giant dose of the spirit that comes when we dive into the Book of Mormon.

6. A few times when we've had financial struggles I have studied the Book of Mormon paying particular attention to the word Bondage (as a metaphor for debt) and also work, labor, and industry. What I learned was fascinating and perspective-broadening, if not life-changing. I've embarked on other searches for specific instructions in the Book of Mormon as well: Instructions to and examples of families with wayward children; first-hand witnesses of the Savior; etc.

7. "The moment you begin a serious study of the [Book of Mormon], you will find greater power to resist temptation. You will find the power to avoid deception. You will find the power to stay on the straight and narrow path....When you begin to hunger and thirst after those words, you will find life in greater and greater abundance."
--President Ezra Taft Benson Ensign, November 1986, page 7.

8. The phrase "Line upon line" from 2nd Nephi has inspired me to exercise, practice the piano, do all kinds of difficult things, using the concept of a little at a time and consistent daily effort.

9. President Gordon B. Hinckley:

"Brothers and sisters, without reservation I promise you that if you will prayerfully read the Book of Mormon, regardless of how many times you previously have read it, there will come into your hearts an added measure of the Spirit of the Lord. There will come a strengthened resolution to walk in obedience to his commandments, and there will come a stronger testimony of the living reality of the Son of God."

("The Power of the Book of Mormon", Ensign, June, 1988, p. 6)

10 & 11. "Our beloved brother, President Marion G. Romney, who celebrated his eighty-ninth birthday last month and who knows of himself of the power that resides in this book, testified of the blessings that can come into the lives of those who will read and study the Book of Mormon. He said:

'I feel certain that if, in our homes, parents will read from the Book of Mormon prayerfully and regularly, both by themselves and with their children, the spirit of that great book will come to permeate our homes and all who dwell therein. The spirit of reverence will increase; mutual respect and consideration for each other will grow. The spirit of contention will depart. Parents will counsel their children in greater love and wisdom. Children will be more responsive and submissive to the counsel of their parents. Righteousness will increase. Faith, hope, and charity—the pure love of Christ—will abound in our homes and lives, bringing in their wake peace, joy, and happiness' (Ensign, May 1980, p. 67).

"These promises—increased love and harmony in the home, greater respect between parent and child, increased spirituality and righteousness—are not idle promises, but exactly what the Prophet Joseph Smith meant when he said the Book of Mormon will help us draw nearer to God."

12. I'm wondering if we could have a Book of Mormon Therapy study group right here on the Blog. We could just start commenting on this post, or start a new one. Maybe each of us could post a particular problem, question, or personal struggle and then we could all dig in and start finding answers and making progress through a serious study of the Book of Mormon. Or just post something we're excited about that we learned each day. I just finished reviewing every talk in the conference Ensign and am ready to start a new scripture study program. I'm getting pretty excited about the idea of joint Book of Mormon Therapy here.

Here are a few responses:

N: What amazing friends I have. Your comments are better than gold, Charrette. I think sharing the impressions we receive while studying The Book of Mormon will be a tremendous blessing for us all.

E: These thoughts are awesome! Thank you so much for sharing. And I would love to do a Book of Mormon Therapy study for all of us. I love this idea. I'm really good about reading through the Book of Mormon, but I'm not so good at actually diving in and I would love to have an excuse (as pathetic as it is that I need one) to dive in more. I'm going to ponder your thoughts today.

K: This has me in tears. I need this so much in my life and I've been letting so much get in the way of what my soul is really hungering for. I've been told in my patriarchal blessing, and in more than one priesthood blessing that I need to turn to the scriptures. That my Heavenly Father is waiting for me to, so that he can pour forth the blessings He has in store for me.

And so our Book of Mormon Therapy begins.

Third Nephi: A Living Christ, A Living Church, Individuals Living By the Spirit, 3 Nephi 11-20

A friend sent me an email yesterday saying her daughter was asked to speak in church on Sunday and was feeling overwhelmed. The topic is "3 Nephi 11-20: Establishing the Church." She asked if I could offer any suggestions.

I found it exhilarating to read these chapters with the focus on "establishing the church" (which at first sounds a little dry and left-brained when there is so much here that is spiritually powerful and deeply moving). What I found is that seeing the Living Christ establishing His living church here in the Americas is a deeply spiritual call to each of us to step up our individual involvement...to seek and receive a personal witness, to participate in ordinances and make covenants one on one, to receive His power, to pray more intensely, to feel his love, his ministry, even his smile...

And then become newly committed by not only avoiding the really bad (outward) sins, but avoiding even the desire to go there by guarding our thoughts. (Not just don't kill...but don't allow yourself to be caught up in anger...Not just don't commit adultery, but don't even entertain a lustful thought.) And also give more than is asked or required.

And of course we know that the fruits of such a spiritual experience, such deep commitment, is 200+ years of peace...the only time and place in the history of the world where we read about such an enduring happiness.

Here is my rough train of thought and some key passages to consider:

His Audience

We know from the previous chapters that his audience of Nephites are people who are imperfect, who have suffered, grieved, yet allowed themselves to believe. They are in need of repentance, have resisted some gathering, and need to return to Him with "full purpose of heart".

This sets a more realistic and applicable stage for what happens in Chapter 11, when they hear the voice and feel the spirit.

Intense Focus

What jumps out at me first in vs. 3-6 is the amount of focus required to truly understand The Voice. ("And again the third time they did...open their ears to hear it, and their eyes were towards the sound thereof; and they did look steadfastly towards heaven, from whence the sound came.") Their full attention is riveted on the Spirit.
It is only then, just like in the Road to Emmaus, that they see and recognize the Savior.

Seeking A Personal Witness

Next, in vs. 14-17 he calls on them to stand up and come to him so they can each receive and FEEL an individual witness: " Arise and come forth...that ye may thrust your hands into my side, and also that ye may feel the prints of the nails in my hands and in my feet that ye man KNOW that I am [who I said I am]." They go up ONE AT A TIME so that each has an opportunity to personalize his pain, individually appreciate what He has done for them, and verify for themselves that He lives...and worship at his feet.

Power To The People, One by One

In vs. 19 -35 Christ then gives Nephi (and others) His Power (priesthood). He instructs them regarding baptism...an ordinance given individually, one on one, with an individual commitment. He spells out how we should be unified (regarding his baptism, his doctrine) but wants our covenant-making and commitment to be individual.

The Sacrament — Individual Renewal

Chapter 18 - He is the one who breaks and blesses it, setting the example for our priests today. Another one-on-one ordinance, set up to renew our individual covenants. The purpose: Always Remember, Witness. The promise: Always have His Spirit with us. We are commanded to repent and return to him with "full purpose of heart" (18:32) and promised to be healed.

Individual Preparation For Sunday Meetings

(Chapter 17, verse 3) We have the scriptures, the Sunday School reading, the Relief Society Manual...and even an upcoming general conference. He teaches us that we need to prepare ahead of time: ponder the teachings, pray for understanding, and prepare our minds...all in advance of our Sunday meetings. Then in verse 5 we see (again, like the Road to Emmaus) he perceives their tears with compassion and recognizes that they want to ask him to stay a little longer with them. They are blessed with his presence, healed. Again in chapter 19, verse 3, we see them making an enormous effort to be in the right place at the right time, so they can be in his presence. In 19, verse 22 he tells us we should meet together often, and try not to turn anyone away.


Membership Benefits

In Chapter 12-15, it struck me that that recap of the Sermon on the Mount (which I sometimes skim, because, yeah, we have that someplace else) is given specifically to members of the church, following yet another verse on bearing witness and being baptized. That seemed to make the message more applicable somehow...and I appreciated the addition in verse 12: "Ye shall have great joy and be exceedingly glad, for great shall be your reward in heaven"...even while referring to the persecution we may face as members. He commands us to strive for perfection, all the while being patient and forgiving of those around us.

Interpreting Scripture

Christ personally clarifies some of the Bible's teachings-- explains John 10:16, the Law of Moses fulfilled, and their lineage. One of the primary roles of Christ's true church (and the Book of Mormon itself) is to shed greater light on ancient scripture and provide greater clarity for us today. In verse 21-24, getting back to the theme of the actualized individual, he uses that understanding to teach them who they really are.

Missionary Work

Then in Chapter 16 he turns our focus outward, remind us that there are yet others who need to be gathered, need to hear His voice and receive their own witness of the Savior. Chapter 18, v. 25: "See that I have commanded that none of you should go away, but rather have commanded that ye should come unto me, that ye might feel and see; even so shall ye do unto the world".

Focus on Children

The later part of Chapter 17 perhaps shows us the first Book of Mormon primary, and says that our "little children should be brought." He commands the multitude to kneel and pray for them. He tells parents to "Behold your little ones" and proceeds to bless and minister to each one of them individually (again, it says one by one) and encircle the children with angels, with fire...showing them their divine nature and letting the parents see the power and beauty of these spirits they are raising.

We are also told to become more like those little children we are raising. 3 Nephi 11:31

Personal and Family Prayer

Chapter 17: 15-20 Christ sets the example and shows us how to achieve a fulness of joy through prayer. We see some of the deepest expressions of indescribable joy ever written.

Chapter 18: 16-21 He tells us to follow his example of personal prayer and pray always, both individually and in families. And He promises answers.

Chapter 19: Prayer in congregations, quorums. Prayers of gratitude. Inspired prayers, where we're given what we should say. Purification and sanctification through prayer. Deepened understanding through prayer. Ch. 20 -Pray in our hearts.

19:9 "And they did pray for that which they most desired; and they desired that the Holy Ghost should be given unto them."

Summary: The Spirit

The establishing of Christ's church in the Book of Mormon both begins and ends with the Holy Ghost. The ordinances of baptism and the sacrament both promise us His spirit. His command to see for ourselves, to receive our own witness involves the spirit. The spirit is key to all we do in His church.

And finally, some added hope for our day:

2 Ne: 2:4 "Thou art blessed even as they unto whom he shall minister in the flesh; for the Spirit is the same, yesterday, today, and forever."

I'm Grateful for the Wilderness

In fairy tales, the wilderness is a frightening place where characters either run for refuge or are sent...in order to fulfill a mission, face a great challenge, meet someone instrumental, or learn an important skill. The wilderness is an instrument of change.

The same is true in scripture, both ancient and modern. Consider:

Our first parents were cast out of the Garden of Eden to a wilderness...the lone and dreary world. Without that step into the great unknown, the world would never have been populated. We would not exist. Adam said, "Blessed be the name of God, for because of my transgression my eyes are opened, and in this life I shall have joy, and again in the flesh I shall see God.
And Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption, and the eternal life which God giveth unto all the obedient." (Moses 5:10-11)

Moses led the children of Israel out of captivity...and spent the next forty years circling the promised land, in the wilderness. It was in the wilderness that they witnessed the miracle of the parting of the Red Sea, built a golden calf for idol worship, and received the Ten Commandments.

Lehi was warned in a dream to leave behind his riches, his possessions and his remarkable real estate and journey into the wilderness with his family. The entire Book of Mormon begins with this crucial story of one family's journey into the wilderness.

Mormon pioneers were cast out of their homes and farmland and driven into the wilderness, crossing thousands of miles on the plains before arriving in the Salt Lake Valley.

John the baptist was raised in the wilderness. Living in the wild was somehow essential to his preparation as a baptist and an elias, one who ushers in.

Christ spent 40 days praying and fasting in the wilderness, and ultimately retired to the wilderness, the Garden of Gethsemane, to talk to God and atone for our sins.

This year our oldest son spent two months in the wilderness. It was a much-needed instrument of change. The beating down of the earth's elements seem to soften his heart in ways nothing else had succeeded.

At some point every one of us, just like fairy tale characters as well as prophets and patriarchs, will have to pass through a personal wilderness. Perhaps several, both literal and figurative. These wildernesses are frightening places, full of unknowns, full of danger...but often harboring wise leaders, helpful guides...and always effecting change.

This year my gratitude for the wilderness is profound. I am grateful for the progress our son made there, for the peace and reflection that comes to me when I escape there myself, and most especially for the wilderness Christ was willing to enter in our behalf. I am acutely aware of the fear that comes as we leave our personal comfort zones to embark on a journey. I am in awe of the peace that is offered, often in the very face of life-threatening danger. I am humbled to my knees at the wilderness Jesus bore for each of us. And I rejoice in the miracle and power of change.

Catch and Release

Today I felt a burden lifted. I’m not sure if it was the drag of October...suddenly turned November. Or if it was the fact that I was released from my calling today. But there was tangible lightness. I felt lifted, renewed. Connected. Happy, even. Just as I was being released.

Catch and release. A practice of mercy. Throwing fish back in the stream. To save them. In the church it is Call and release. But I still think there is some initial pain, some mercy, and a stream moving us toward our destination.

This has been, in many ways, my most difficult calling. Even though I’d done it before, in a previous ward. The work itself wasn’t difficult. But this time around I felt like a fish out of water most of the time. Never quite sure where I fit, what contributions I was making.

I spent too much time in this calling feeling angry. I had so many wrestles of the heart. I felt controlled. Often manipulated. Redundant. Resentful. I felt like an appendage. Whatever I did was often already done before I got to it. And more often redone as soon as I was finished. The frustration was running high. I felt like my wings were clipped.

At the same time I felt guilty. I felt guilty for feeling angry, of course. Guilty for not ever really taking off, not spreading my wings. For somehow allowing my wings to be clipped. I also felt spent. I did not have the energy to continue to fill the empty well that stood before me, more like a sieve, desperate for approval. But I realize that approval wasn’t mine to give. It was only His.

In some ways I didn’t realize how oppressive all those emotions weighing on me had become...until today, as they were lifted.

My patriarchal blessing tells me to “accept with a glad heart each call”. It also says that when I “serve to the very best of [my] ability the Lord will honor [me]”, and I will “find great joy in His service”. I have always used those phrases from my patriarchal blessing as a sort of barometer for my church service...if I wasn’t finding great joy, I must not be serving to the very best of my ability. Maybe I needed to work harder. Or work deeper. Something.

But this time around I could never seem to find that something. I never felt like I hit the ground running. I never knew quite what to do, let alone how to improve. Couldn’t figure out why I was unhappy so much of the time. I loved being with the children, preparing sharing times, teaching them, greeting them, singing with them. And I especially loved painting a mural of the sacred grove to beautify the room where they meet. But this emotional drag, this was foreign territory for me. I usually love my callings. Love serving. Love going the extra mile. I was definitely out of my element.

As we held our final presidency meeting this past week, I thought about my dad. I remember on the morning he was released as bishop, he called us together for family prayer, and offered up our collective service to the Lord, acknowledged all the labor and sacrifice, and offered it to God as his and our response to the call to serve. I remember the powerful feeling that followed, as we felt that the Lord had indeed found our offering “acceptable” and poured out his spirit to let us know.

Somewhat guiltily, I wondered if I could have such an experience in this calling. If I could actually offer the Lord my service as second counselor in the primary presidency as the best I could give, and if He would find MY offering acceptable. Sheepishly, I decided not to ask.

And yet, today I felt good. I didn’t feel inclined to hang my head. Or shrink in defeat. I felt honored. Appreciated. Eager to serve. Lifted up.

So maybe what I had to offer--even if it was very different from what I have been able to offer at other times, in other places, in other circumstances--maybe what I had to give this time around was somehow, miraculously, enough. Perhaps even very good.

I looked back on my setting apart. Remembered how I had questioned (like never before) the inspiration behind this calling, and sought confirmation. When the bishop laid his hands on my head, he told me that I was expected to open the scriptures with the children, and teach powerful truths from their pages. Beyond that, I was promised that each time I bore testimony...of the scriptures, the Restoration, the Savior...those I loved and cared for at home would be blessed. That was my witness. The Lord knew my heart.

I thought about the way I used the scriptures in every sharing time...Telling the story of the Brother of Jared. Showing how the Book of Mormon, the Old Testament, and the New Testament all started with the story of a single family. Teaching the way prophets used tools (and made the ones they didn’t have) to build towering structures -- and strong families. I know I did my part. I also thought about the particular crucible our family has crossed through over the past three years, and can only conclude that the Lord kept his promise.

I have regrets. I wish we had focused more on ministering and less on ad-ministering. I wish we had visited the children more often in their homes, made more of an effort to reach out to the less active families. I wish I had been more submissive and served more joyfully, offered less resistance.

But today I am hoping, praying, that the good somehow outweighed all those regrets. And that somehow this odd mix of frustration and fractious feelings and sharing and service and soul-searching was somehow, without my even being aware of it, the best I had to give.

And now I am back in the stream, floating for awhile, until the next catch.


E P I L O G U E

When I was set apart for my next calling, the Lord very graciously and specifically told me how well I'd done in this calling, and that my service was deeply appreciated.

We'll Sing And We'll Shout

When a friend came to visit us on Sunday he started talking about perspective. He said that Heavenly Father is always trying to broaden and enlarge our perspective...giving us the whole picture of before the world was created and after we die and the far reaches of eternity, and Satan is always trying to narrow out perspective, making us think the only thing that matters is what we want right now, and making our problems seem insurmountable. As he was talking, I imagined a piece of string being stretched out flat for eternal perspective, and then Satan pulling up the center of it for where we are now, so all we can see is a big impossible hill to climb, and nothing on the other side. You can pull it straight again...and it goes much farther than you may have ever imagined. (It's also straight. And narrow.)

This friend of ours has spent years and years counseling people, listening to their problems...and their perspective. And all those years of observing other people's lives and struggles have jelled into a singular point of view that makes so much sense to me: God always wants to broaden our perspective. He wants us to have the big picture. To inform our choices. When Jesus joined the two men on the road to Emmaus the first thing he did (after asking them a couple of questions and finding out how sad they were) was to open up the scriptures and expand their understanding, starting clear back at the beginning.

At the same time, Satan and his demons strive to narrow our perspective. Just like that piece of string, he tries to turn our mountains into molehills, our successes into ego-feeding exaggerations, and our failures into a bottomless abyss. He would have us believe that this life is all there is. That we came from nothing. And we'll return to nothing. It is so disheartening how often he succeeds.

In modern times, God and his prophets continue that broadening, that expansion, by granting us an understanding of who we are, where we came from, and where we are headed. This larger view of where we are in the grand eternal scheme of things puts everything in a more realistic perspective. Our self worth, connected to Him, remains stable.

I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. We believe that we are children of God, his spirit offspring, and that we existed long before we came to earth. We lived with Him as spirits before we were born.

So now we're here, and it's all about learning, and faith, and Christ, and turning our weaknesses into strengths. We are sent to families, and we form families of our own, hoping that someday these families will be together forever in an unbreakable chain.

And after we die we continue to live...as spirits. There have been times when I've felt the presence of loved ones who have passed away, and I know this is true. We will someday be resurrected and assigned a glorious (or not-so-glorious) place in God's kingdom, according to how much progress we made here on earth. Our perspective is, at its very core, eternal.

We all have our short-sighted days. Times when we're irritable, or crippled with self-doubt...that's when we've lost that perspective. We also have those days when we feel overbrimming with joy, connected to everyone, to the universe, to the Lord. Unspeakable love. That's the result of that broadened perspective.

The temple is one of God's most powerful tools for broadening our perspective. Yesterday we attended a temple dedication. Yet another holy edifice dedicated to the Lord. His house. At the end we sang The Spirit of God Like a Fire is Burning and when I got to this line, I was so choked up with emotion I couldn't sing: "The Lord is extending the saints' understanding..." That's it. That's what he does. That broadening. Expanding. Eternal perspective. It was happening at that very moment. We were singing about it. And I was feeling it. I wept.

How Firm a Foundation, Hymn #85

I have always loved the 25th Section of the Doctrine and Covenants. I love all that rich, specific counsel, and I love knowing that it was given to a woman. I like to think it was also counsel given to me. I particularly love verse 12, where it says that "the song of the righteous is a prayer". I believe that with all my heart, and have experienced many such prayers through music.

But today I had an experience where the song was the answer.
Let me backtrack a little.

This weekend I have struggled with some very raw emotion. I have felt sad, angry, discouraged, disheartened, unloved, and generally uncomfortable in my own skin. This morning as I tried to dissect some of these emotions, I went to my great Thinking Place -- the shower. And while I stood there under the water I began drafting an "I feel" statement, trying to put some of those emotions into words. The word I came up with that most nearly described what I was feeling was dismayed. "I feel extremely dismayed..." which is odd, because I don't often use that word. I also felt like the rug had been yanked right out from under me and I had nowhere to stand.

I had to kind of drag myself through my morning rituals this morning, in between moments of sobbing and whimpering. Then I dragged myself through church, wiping away occasional inexplicable tears that surfaced. Then I sat down on a chair in primary and just did my best to hold it all together.

Hailey Smith, our chorister, did a hilarious improv routine as Professor Smith, cousin to Sister Smith, a professor of primary music who was there visiting from England to observe our children. It was a treat, and it felt good to laugh for a minute. The children sang out beautifully. And when they sang How Firm a Foundation I joined in heartily. On the second verse, the words touched me so deeply I could no longer sing and just wiped away the tears:

Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,
For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.
I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,
Upheld by my righteous omnipotent hand.

I felt at that moment as though God himself was speaking directly to me through those lyrics.
And I sat up a little straighter and took the message to heart. Not only do we speak to God through our singing, but He speaks to us.